Life in the Lowcountry


Delving into the past. It’s a process. Work with me.

She is transported to the past in order to bring you this blog…<insert Wayne’s World ™ deeeedledoooodleeeedeeeedeeeellloooodddoooodddllle here>.

It’s 1993, I’ve graduated, found a job, and basically fulfilled what I thought was my parent’s dream list of : “the things that you do after being educated.” I missed the part about getting married. Damn. One of many dreams that my parents had for me that have yet to come true, through no fault of their own. They just didn’t give the best impression of marriage. Dad’s version: “I married her, it’s FOR LIFE.” Mom’s version: “We got married, we made the family, I am a housewife, FUCK YOU. DON’T DO IT! Drinking is a much better way to deal with it. FOR LIFE.”

I’m being harsh. And snarky. FUCK YOU. I learned it somewhere. Nature vs. Nurture? Not just a theory.

Back to the story, It’s 1993 and I’m a year out of college, a year after or right as “The Real World” featuring Pedro, the AIDS guy who I totally fell in love with even though he was gay and had AIDS and by the end of the season died…”Spoiler Alert too late” he was the shit. I kid a lot but that guy had some heart and opened my eyes to the world. Brought me out of my hometown conservative homophobia to the “Real World”. And that’s what freaking reality TV should be, not this trumped up game of who’s going to screw whom ever else over like there is on TV today. (Or so I hear, I quit watching that stuff an hour ago.)

Again, I digress, but I do have a point, albeit a disturbing point, to make. Consider yourself warned. And intrigued. Although only you can consider yourself intrigued if you genuinely are intrigued, which, to beleaguer the point is something only  you can determine at this point by reading on. So to not further digress I will move on past this beleaguered point.

STEW. Not an acronym for anything, that was his name. He was the first AOL (acronym for America On Line) to seduce me online. He convinced the 20-something version of me to say dirty things to him.  I still have conversations we had saved on a disc somewhere but I cannot fathom how to get them off this freaking 3.5 floppy onto Word. I’m hopeless when it comes to computers. So back to the story, it was titillating, people! I tell you this IM chat was HOT! We did stuff I’m still proud of today. And probably was made mention in Penthouse forums simultaneously. I’m just sayin’ that I was young and horny.  And wanting to be talked about in Penthouse.

So Stew, that guy…he got me all hot and bothered while talking to him on IM. So I agreed to talk to him LIVE and IN PERSON! And he dug my voice. “OOOOOHHHHH what a sexy voice you have, can I stroke my cock to it? Can I make you feel good?” And I’m all like, “Um, stroke your cock all you like, you’re not going to make me feel good while you’re in New Jersey and I’m in California. Fucker.”  – He liked that. I was taken aback at the lack of seriousness. If you want a girl to feel good, FUCKING BE THERE to make her feel good. Don’t talk a game…So clearly Stew was out of the picture at this point. He walked the walk that he was walking… whatever that means. He was done for me. Stop it, I’m smart. Too much so, apparently.

Oh, but Stew story, meant to be something of a lesson. He was apparently some kind of movie previewer in the 90’s and had a thing for young chicks. And he wanted me to send him a pair of my unwashed underwear. GROSS!  So if you know the guy, call him out. Seriously, he sent me inappropriate videotapes, I repeat, “VIDEOTAPES”. He sent an impressionable girl “VIDEOS” which I can’t show ’cause they are on beta. But I digress. As I often do.

My favorite story that I don’t tell: Meeting with Stew. He’s such an enigma. He so totally “got” me that I find it hard to tell this saga. I don’t even think you can call it a “saga” without sounding “facetious” when  speaking of Stew.  Stew isn’t “Stew” in this anecdote, he was actually XXXX, but I don’t think it’s right to call people out when writing about them without their previous knowing of it so I’ll call XXXX, Stew. He’ll probably sue me later but fuck that, I got no money! I GOT NOTHING TO LOSE! And I never mean anything in mean spiritedness, Stew.

OK, done delving into the past. More recent past than my only reader knows about. Tom, want more? let me know. I can fill you in. Think this is entertaining? Please let me know. I am pandering here….

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So now I see…
February 10, 2008, 4:20 pm
Filed under: Life | Tags: , , ,

There will be good days and bad days! I’ve had two really good days and I feel more are on the horizon…

I took a friend’s advice and drove to the beach on Saturday. It was SO pretty out, mild temps in the upper 60’s and SUNNY! I plopped down on my beach towel, watched the waves and the people walking along the beach (so nice without tourists crowding the place). After a moment of pondering my existence, I opened my book “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho and started to read. I finished the whole thing in one sitting. It is an amazing book. My eyes are opened. If you don’t have any idea what I’m talking about, go and pick up the book and see for yourself. Did I mention it was amazing?!?

After I got back to the apartment, I felt the strong urge to call my Auntie Phyllis in Columbia and see how she was doing. She’s recently divorced and looking to date again. She’s 64 so it’s presenting her with a bit of a challenge but I admire her for getting back out there again. She’s using the internet to her full advantage! She had called me to ask me about my experiences with internet dating and I told her that mine was not a story to be used for encouragement. She laughed and said that I shouldn’t worry about finding love, love will find me. Of all of my family she has always ALWAYS been supportive of me. Last night she said she encouraged me because she felt sorry for me. It wasn’t an awful thing to say to me because I saw it as very reassuring. All in all the details of the conversation are not important but what is is that we connected on a very basic level and she underscored the way my family dynamic has always been. I’m fortunate to have her. “I ROCK!”

Speaking of ROCK! After going to bed feeling much better about myself and things in general, I slept like a rock. I woke up so very hungry this morning and contemplated what I’d like to eat. As I’m in the middle of my indecision my phone rings and it’s my friend Michael. He wanted to interview me for a paper he’s writing for his Gender Psychology class. So he asked me the questions, I answered and then he asked, “What does your day have in store for you?” I told him that I was going to get something to eat and figure the rest out. He said that he was sitting in the parking lot of Mosaic Cafe if I wanted to meet him for Brunch and I jumped at the chance!

I threw on some clothes and met him there. He’s dating the owner so whenever we go we always get great food and great service at a great price (free!) We started talking and I found out he’s going home for a few days at the end of the week. He’s got a doctor’s appointment because he’s had chronic fatigue for the past month. I’m not worried, I know he’ll be fine because he’s young, fit and takes really good care of himself. Plus he’s gorgeous and not that that has anything to do with his health but it’s always nice to hang out with beautiful people! He made me practice flirting with him (easy!) and then he offered to help me get my apartment in order. He’s going to help me organize and hang pictures. I have to clean out my car this week and keep it cleaned out until he gets back and if I pass that task then we work on my apartment. And he’s keeping his eye out for the single professor at C of C that isn’t gay and isn’t a scientist unless he likes history and novels.

During the course of brunch he told me about a place I needed to go to as a reward for cleaning out my car. I took my camera and went there immediately after cleaning the trash out of my car (I took a liberty in defining “cleaning out your car”)! It’s a beautiful park that used to be the connector from Mount Pleasant to Sullivan’s Island. It is my new favorite place in the area. I’m going to buy some crab pots and go out there and crab! (someday) Meanwhile, it’s an excellent place to people watch, read or write. I need to do more of all of that!