Life in the Lowcountry


Got to write, too tired to do anything else!
April 8, 2010, 8:16 pm
Filed under: Life

I’m so tired of working. I’m so tired of analyzing what I should and should not be doing. I’m fatigued from worrying about my aging parents’ health updates. I’m weary of the economy. I’m plumb worn out. This is all too much for one single gal to take!

A friend of mine gave me a piece of advice: “Quit your job and go back to school. Obama is going to pay for it all.” He’s a staunch Republican. And my only reader. . . So not to offend, I will politely decline and say that I must bull-headedly move forward with my current path. I choose commerce since I don’ t see any other choice. This is it.

Ash

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4th, 5th, hell even the 6th of July. Liberty knows no date.
October 22, 2008, 5:18 pm
Filed under: Life

So on the 4th I updated and reposted my resume. Talked to Pedro and he actually broke up with me. I DIDN’T KNOW WE WERE DATING!!!!!!!!! He felt that the separation would do us good because, and I quote him exactly word for word with the last guy I went out with, “We aren’t looking for the same things. I feel you want something more.” ????????? What planet have I leaped onto? Isn’t everyone looking (ok, not everyone but most people) for a relationship? Aren’t we all looking for some inter-connection, some sort of interpersonal and spiritual connection with someone they feel compatible with? OH, wait…I get it. They aren’t compatible with me and so therefore I’m looking for something other than what they want. WAIT!!! I wasn’t even that into him!

OK, so that’s the 4th and 5th up until my friend’s BBQ party on Saturday. I get to the party and thought that the stylish and fashionista thing to do would be to show up with a floppy hat and HUGE sunglasses (rescued from the lost and found at work and of which we’d had many humorous laughs at, various people trying them on…) only to find that my prank didn’t work because the host had no idea who I was coming in the door! On a side note, the dog whom I’d sat with months ago knew me immediately and she was quick to lick my face and welcome me to her home. She doesn’t discriminate against Mommie Dearest wannabes even though she lives with two queens! Love me some Bailey!!!! Cocker Spaniels are soooooo smart.

At the BBQ, after the disguise fiasco, we all were talking and the conversation took the following turns: 1. Opera and Broadway (as one would expect in a gay-like gathering) to 2. People (straight) not knowing what the hell constitutes a good opera. 3. My suggestion that Donkey Kong the Musical will be the next Tony winner, after we all write it. 4. That Phantom of the Opera is overrated.5. Jesus is a prophet and not someone to be worshiped. 6. Religion is for Atheists. 7. Jews don’t know Mary. 8. And they like to go to VEGAS, BABY, VEGAS!!! (short disclaimer, all of this is said in jest and was in context of a private conversation that was humorous in a drunken sort of conversation. Especially with the Atheist. He’s going to HELL!!! LOL) 9. When God conversations get tedious in a party atmosphere, Danny will always bring in how Cows being slaughtered for food is not a good thing, food that is farmed for meat is a bad thing and that always brings the laughter. not!

So, that brings us up to the 6th. My true independence day…I finished my resume, put it out there and hope that the money will follow. If not, the lottery will have to do and if that happens then the book will follow and all this blogging will just be fuel for the fodder. Love the freedom!

Thanks to the women and men who are fighting the real fight to keep us free. I love you guys for being there for us and our country and to Dean, James, Tom, Dan and all of my good, close, personal friends who are defending America and performing your duties – God Bless You. You are my heroes and Thank You for doing your jobs!

Enough ranting. Miss you, Tommy! See you in October.



Happy Birthday!
October 15, 2008, 9:28 pm
Filed under: Birds and Bees, Life | Tags: , , ,

Today I turned 30-something and I’m still single. Mom and Dad are happy for me because I have a good job that (so far and God willing) is a good and stable job but they’re a little disappointed that they don’t have grandkids. My married friends with kids keep trying to hand off their kids to Mom and Dad but so far it hasn’t cut the mustard. I’m not bemoaning my single status, yes I’d like to be in love and attached to someone who “gets” me, but that’s not where I am right now. Life hasn’t thrown that my way.  I say I’m still single because it seems that until recently I was an anomoly amongst my peers.  Not so much now.

A couple of weeks ago,  I went back to my hometown for a reunion of sorts. It wasn’t a class reunion but rather a reunion of 10 years of classes who all participated in our marching band. We weren’t your everyday band – we won 3 Grand National Championships which is unparalleled to this day, I think.  Meeting up with people that you worked so hard to achieve a singular goal with and spent so many hours with on hot asphalt covered parking lots, on dusty, dry football fields, marching in light rainstorms, sliding in the mud, riding on long bus trips, eating Hardee’s burgers and biscuits, singing Boston songs, “Set it up, Do it Again!” and the endless drama of being in High School…seeing these people again for the first time since graduation and having the comment “You look exactly the same.” said to you over and over and over again – makes you wonder. Did I look 30-something when I was 16? Does 16 now look 30-something? Do things really ever change after high school?

Read your yearbook. It’s fascinating! I knew I was cool in college because I made friends who have told me how cool I am through the years. I have a few friends (since the reunion, quite a few more!) from high school who stuck with me and through good times and bad have had my back and know me better than my friends from college when I thought I was cool. But after this reunion and running into a guy who swore he was in band with us and I totally didn’t recognize at first, I got home, pulled out the yearbook, found him and DUDE! this guy got HOT after high school! Movie Star Hot! Brad Pitt’s got nothing on him.  While looking for his picture, I read over what people had written in my senior yearbook. One girl said that she was sure I’d be a brain surgeon. One swears I look like Molly Ringwald. (I hear this one’s with the FBI now…hope he’s not a profiler! I don’t think I look anything like her!) All of them saying, let’s not lose touch even though we’re leaving home and going off to college. Or let’s stay friends forever.  It’s high school, you lose touch with some and you keep in touch with others. You desperately hope at the time that these people who know you a little TOO well will keep your secrets (you’re a dork who happens to have the same haircut as Molly Ringwald but can make the cool or “in” people laugh) and still like you when you reach your full potential in college, or you fail miserably (hell, you don’t know what you’re going to do…it’s the FUTURE! and it is daunting even for the smartest amongst us.) You desperately want those messages to ring out from the past to say, if just for a moment, we connected. We got each other and had some fun and crazy times and you were there for me. If nothing else, we mattered for that time.  We mattered to someone and in some way that shaped our present time.

20 years have passed. So much has happened! Memories fade, get renewed or revised during reunions. Perspectives change. The darndest thing I saw during that reunion is that people do not change. Fundamentally we may grow up and progress into adulthood but we do not change. Maturity is an option but some of us do not choose it and even if we do, our core is still the same. The princess who wanted the fairytale life but didn’t get it is still trying to convince us she’s onto something. The player who had it all and the beautiful girlfriend is now married and none to happy with that situation and is trying to do something about it. We’ve gotten married, had kids, gotten divorced, remarried, adopted kids, come out of the closet, become alcoholics, drug addicts, dealt with parents dying, made fortunes, lost fortunes, moved out from home, moved back home, gotten over past hurts, and still dwelling in the past. We’re American High School Graduates.

What brings me to this state of mind? I had dinner with a college buddy of mine. He is one of the reasons I’m living in the Lowcountry today. We have been friends since my freshman year in college. He was always BMOC, president of his class (2 years ahead of me – it’s a pattern, old(er) people love me!), big in his fraternity and a student leader for as long as I can remember. He dated my roommate (as most of my guy friends have…hmmm. Think about that later.) and after grad school he lived in my hometown working for a non-profit organization. We live 100 yards from each other but in the past two years I’ve seen his roommate more than I’ve seen him. We reconnected and went to dinner tonight with his roommate. I haven’t laughed as much since the reunion! Sharing stories, we all connected even though we didn’t know the actual people being talked about, we all shared similar situations.  So now it’s late and I’m losing my train of thought. I’ll have to pick this up again.

Tom, you have a new fellow reader and Kristy and I are going to start a back and forth blog about the single vs. MWK lifestyles. Look for it soon! Kristy, glad to have you reading and let’s get this started!!!



What am I doing here?
July 26, 2008, 10:08 pm
Filed under: Life, Work | Tags: , , , , ,

I don’t even know where to begin. I thought I was meant to be a writer and then I thought I was meant to be a mother and then I thought I was meant to be a writer again…now I am focused on finding an occupation and focused on finding a life. I haven’t thought that I was one to have a life. OKAY, wait, let’s revisit that last statement. OBVIOUSLY I have a life. I’m here…but what am I doing here? Hence the title of the blog. DUH. Still not knowing what I want to talk about. There’s something here I need to say but I’m not finding the words tonight. Maybe tomorrow…hell, I’m unemployed, maybe the words will find me on Monday! I’ve got the luxury of time, baby! The luxury of time…

Sunday night – thinking of what tomorrow will bring. So many opportunities and so many possibilities! I’m out there pounding the pavement again, but with a sense of purpose and destiny instead of a sense of dread and desperation. I think that will make all the difference in the world. I know it will. Meanwhile, I have a lot of time to blog and get some things written that I’ve been making excuses about being too busy to write. HA! Can’t use that now. Thank God! I get time to see if this is what I want to do. YEA!

I have never filed for unemployment before and I’m not sure I know anyone who has. I’m not ashamed of filing for unemployment but it is a new experience and not too friendly, so far. Here’s been my experience: I filed electronically on Wednesday. On Friday I got a packet with lots of documents repeating the same thing over and over and over again, never varying but always repeating. I, being a relatively intelligent person, read all documents given to me as instructed in the first two documents which instructed me to “read all documents before calling in your claim.”

Apparently, and I’m just generalizing based on my experience so far, people who have historically filed for unemployment are out to defraud and swindle the state. There are only a few rules that must be adhered to and/or followed. You must not be making money or more than x amount; You must look for work; You must call in and report that you did or didn’t work, that you made/did not make money and that you did/did not look for work. That’s it. Again, apparently there are a ton of people out there trying to defraud the state. When I called in tonight to report my claim I was asked a series of questions but first they made me wait 15 minutes because of the high volume of calls. First question, what is your SS#? Wow, that was easy. Next question, What is your PIN #? Since I didn’t have one yet, the computer asked me to choose one. I did, and it asked me once again to choose a PIN#. Then the computer instructed me to read the pamphlets I had been given and call back to report my claim. I’m not calling back tonight. I’ve had my share of really bad muzak being played over a shaky connection to a small place in hell where I’m sure they just put you on hold to torture you into not making a claim. I’ll show them. I WILL CALL BACK. HA!



I am. II
June 16, 2008, 8:48 pm
Filed under: Birds and Bees, Life, Uncategorized | Tags:

I am willing to accept that I am wonderful. LOL!!

My previous post drew such rave reviews I decided to expand on the subject so here is “I am.” the sequel ~

I recently met a friend whom I hadn’t seen since we were in school together. Not just any school, junior high school, 9th grade to be exact. The background: She moved to Chicago and I stayed in North Cackalacky. She went to Northwestern University and I went to Elon College. She pledged Phi Mu and I pledged Phi Mu. We were sisters again. Flash forward ~ we write letters, send Christmas Cards, she invites me to her wedding and I’m a poor college graduate who can’t afford the airfare. We get email addresses and write once in a while and then lose touch for a year. Next thing I know she’s got two kids (both boys), the third boy is on the way and she’s overdue. It’s Saturday, September 9, 2001 when she emails me that she’s going to be induced on the very next Tuesday. I was so excited when I woke up at 6 am to go to work! My friend is going to have a baby today and I’m a part of this in some way…she thought enough of me to put aside the fact that we hadn’t seen each other in over 10 years to share this very special moment with me, knowing I’d be there in spirit for her. She’d sought my advice for years about the first two boys – asthma, traumas, allergies, etc. and it wasn’t advice, it was just support…just to know that someone who knows her is listening and someone has got her back! And then I get to work that Tuesday morning and get my cup of coffee and sit down in front of my computer to check email and Tom Melton walked in and said, “A plane just hit the World Trade Center. Have you heard about this???” I clicked on my internet connection and tuned to MSNBC to see what he was talking about. I think I even said, “Was it on purpose or an accident?” No one seemed to answer. As I was watching the second plane fly into the other tower I thought, ‘Oh my God, is she watching this while waiting to deliver this precious child?’ and the next thought was ‘What the fuck is going on?’ I panicked and ran to my boss’ office and said that I needed to go home. He said that was ok and I left. I turned on the tv at home and grabbed my cat and cried. I panicked again and couldn’t stand being at home so I went back to work in a state of shock. I just knew I needed to be around people. I needed to be around people who cared about me. I called my mom, dad, brother, friends in NYC and anyone I could think about and made sure they were ok. I don’t think the shock wore off for days. I was in North Carolina and I cannot imagine what my friends and family and complete strangers went through in New York and DC and Pennsylvania. I had no idea what shock and horror I could feel.

I need to edit that last diatribe, it kinda came out in stream of consciousness…forgive me faithful reader!

So I met this child last week and I was very much impressed with him. He now has a younger brother (yes, she’s got 4 sons) and all of them are so freaking great! The oldest is 10 going on 30. The next in line is 8 but he acts 14, the 7 year old is not quite 7 and he’s more reserved than the rest and the 3 year old is a force to be reckoned with! (He asked if they were going to see “Ashwee” because they were in the car for over half an hour and he missed me. “Can we go visit Ashwee again?” Even with a birth date that carries a heavy burden, this child is so happy and friendly and not in the least bit scarred! His parents have reared him and his siblings in such a way that they will always be the best that they can be! I’m proud to call them all, kids and parents, my friends!



So now I see…
February 10, 2008, 4:20 pm
Filed under: Life | Tags: , , ,

There will be good days and bad days! I’ve had two really good days and I feel more are on the horizon…

I took a friend’s advice and drove to the beach on Saturday. It was SO pretty out, mild temps in the upper 60’s and SUNNY! I plopped down on my beach towel, watched the waves and the people walking along the beach (so nice without tourists crowding the place). After a moment of pondering my existence, I opened my book “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho and started to read. I finished the whole thing in one sitting. It is an amazing book. My eyes are opened. If you don’t have any idea what I’m talking about, go and pick up the book and see for yourself. Did I mention it was amazing?!?

After I got back to the apartment, I felt the strong urge to call my Auntie Phyllis in Columbia and see how she was doing. She’s recently divorced and looking to date again. She’s 64 so it’s presenting her with a bit of a challenge but I admire her for getting back out there again. She’s using the internet to her full advantage! She had called me to ask me about my experiences with internet dating and I told her that mine was not a story to be used for encouragement. She laughed and said that I shouldn’t worry about finding love, love will find me. Of all of my family she has always ALWAYS been supportive of me. Last night she said she encouraged me because she felt sorry for me. It wasn’t an awful thing to say to me because I saw it as very reassuring. All in all the details of the conversation are not important but what is is that we connected on a very basic level and she underscored the way my family dynamic has always been. I’m fortunate to have her. “I ROCK!”

Speaking of ROCK! After going to bed feeling much better about myself and things in general, I slept like a rock. I woke up so very hungry this morning and contemplated what I’d like to eat. As I’m in the middle of my indecision my phone rings and it’s my friend Michael. He wanted to interview me for a paper he’s writing for his Gender Psychology class. So he asked me the questions, I answered and then he asked, “What does your day have in store for you?” I told him that I was going to get something to eat and figure the rest out. He said that he was sitting in the parking lot of Mosaic Cafe if I wanted to meet him for Brunch and I jumped at the chance!

I threw on some clothes and met him there. He’s dating the owner so whenever we go we always get great food and great service at a great price (free!) We started talking and I found out he’s going home for a few days at the end of the week. He’s got a doctor’s appointment because he’s had chronic fatigue for the past month. I’m not worried, I know he’ll be fine because he’s young, fit and takes really good care of himself. Plus he’s gorgeous and not that that has anything to do with his health but it’s always nice to hang out with beautiful people! He made me practice flirting with him (easy!) and then he offered to help me get my apartment in order. He’s going to help me organize and hang pictures. I have to clean out my car this week and keep it cleaned out until he gets back and if I pass that task then we work on my apartment. And he’s keeping his eye out for the single professor at C of C that isn’t gay and isn’t a scientist unless he likes history and novels.

During the course of brunch he told me about a place I needed to go to as a reward for cleaning out my car. I took my camera and went there immediately after cleaning the trash out of my car (I took a liberty in defining “cleaning out your car”)! It’s a beautiful park that used to be the connector from Mount Pleasant to Sullivan’s Island. It is my new favorite place in the area. I’m going to buy some crab pots and go out there and crab! (someday) Meanwhile, it’s an excellent place to people watch, read or write. I need to do more of all of that!



Hope your internet connection is working!
February 5, 2008, 10:15 pm
Filed under: Life

Thanks for reading. It’s like I’m confessing to a priest but one who’s neither holy nor sin-less but who knows me and what I’m really saying. And laughing the whole freaking time. This is a comedy of errors, this life. But I really can’t say that I’d change a thing. Are you ready for the next blog, Ny-Quil Man?