Life in the Lowcountry

So now I see…
February 10, 2008, 4:20 pm
Filed under: Life | Tags: , , ,

There will be good days and bad days! I’ve had two really good days and I feel more are on the horizon…

I took a friend’s advice and drove to the beach on Saturday. It was SO pretty out, mild temps in the upper 60’s and SUNNY! I plopped down on my beach towel, watched the waves and the people walking along the beach (so nice without tourists crowding the place). After a moment of pondering my existence, I opened my book “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho and started to read. I finished the whole thing in one sitting. It is an amazing book. My eyes are opened. If you don’t have any idea what I’m talking about, go and pick up the book and see for yourself. Did I mention it was amazing?!?

After I got back to the apartment, I felt the strong urge to call my Auntie Phyllis in Columbia and see how she was doing. She’s recently divorced and looking to date again. She’s 64 so it’s presenting her with a bit of a challenge but I admire her for getting back out there again. She’s using the internet to her full advantage! She had called me to ask me about my experiences with internet dating and I told her that mine was not a story to be used for encouragement. She laughed and said that I shouldn’t worry about finding love, love will find me. Of all of my family she has always ALWAYS been supportive of me. Last night she said she encouraged me because she felt sorry for me. It wasn’t an awful thing to say to me because I saw it as very reassuring. All in all the details of the conversation are not important but what is is that we connected on a very basic level and she underscored the way my family dynamic has always been. I’m fortunate to have her. “I ROCK!”

Speaking of ROCK! After going to bed feeling much better about myself and things in general, I slept like a rock. I woke up so very hungry this morning and contemplated what I’d like to eat. As I’m in the middle of my indecision my phone rings and it’s my friend Michael. He wanted to interview me for a paper he’s writing for his Gender Psychology class. So he asked me the questions, I answered and then he asked, “What does your day have in store for you?” I told him that I was going to get something to eat and figure the rest out. He said that he was sitting in the parking lot of Mosaic Cafe if I wanted to meet him for Brunch and I jumped at the chance!

I threw on some clothes and met him there. He’s dating the owner so whenever we go we always get great food and great service at a great price (free!) We started talking and I found out he’s going home for a few days at the end of the week. He’s got a doctor’s appointment because he’s had chronic fatigue for the past month. I’m not worried, I know he’ll be fine because he’s young, fit and takes really good care of himself. Plus he’s gorgeous and not that that has anything to do with his health but it’s always nice to hang out with beautiful people! He made me practice flirting with him (easy!) and then he offered to help me get my apartment in order. He’s going to help me organize and hang pictures. I have to clean out my car this week and keep it cleaned out until he gets back and if I pass that task then we work on my apartment. And he’s keeping his eye out for the single professor at C of C that isn’t gay and isn’t a scientist unless he likes history and novels.

During the course of brunch he told me about a place I needed to go to as a reward for cleaning out my car. I took my camera and went there immediately after cleaning the trash out of my car (I took a liberty in defining “cleaning out your car”)! It’s a beautiful park that used to be the connector from Mount Pleasant to Sullivan’s Island. It is my new favorite place in the area. I’m going to buy some crab pots and go out there and crab! (someday) Meanwhile, it’s an excellent place to people watch, read or write. I need to do more of all of that!


Hope your internet connection is working!
February 5, 2008, 10:15 pm
Filed under: Life

Thanks for reading. It’s like I’m confessing to a priest but one who’s neither holy nor sin-less but who knows me and what I’m really saying. And laughing the whole freaking time. This is a comedy of errors, this life. But I really can’t say that I’d change a thing. Are you ready for the next blog, Ny-Quil Man?

What in the world?
February 5, 2008, 10:12 pm
Filed under: Life

My mom is sick. I dealt with Dad having triple-bypass surgery and numerous hypochondriac illnesses after that; I’ve dealt with my Granny being sick with Parkinson’s Disease but…NO, my Mom cannot be sick. She told me it was bronchitis. She told me that it was diverticulitis, she told me she was better. She told me that it was all a lie because she didn’t want me to worry. It was LUPUS. The “L” word as she puts it. That’s just wrong of her to copy a Showtime TV serial.

So I’m in therapy. And my Mom’s narcissism and control issues keep coming up in session after session. It’s almost like my therapist doesn’t want me to think that I’m to blame for my lack of companionship. She says to me that I have been conditioned to suppress any normal feelings of worthiness and it all comes from a deep place of shame. And my Mom is to blame for this. OK, so I am shameful. OK, so I don’t like myself some of the time. But didn’t I do this to me? Didn’t I shame myself into this corner? Hell, Mom has been through enough in her life that she shouldn’t have to be blamed for what happened to me or how I took it! Don’t get me wrong. I’m not angry or sorry or regretful. I’m just freaking confused as to how my life got to where it is now. I guess that’s why I’m in therapy.

Did I mention that it was my parents who sought the therapist out? No, not Mom and Dad but just Dad. I have a feeling Mom’s ghosts were screaming at her, “Don’t let him get her therapy!!! You’ll be next!!! You’ll have to confront those demons we’ve been hiding and protecting in this closet, bitch!!! Don’t let the old fool do it!!! You told her too much!!! You told her too much!!!

Don’t worry, you’re secrets are safe with me and the good Doctor. I guess mine will be as well…