Life in the Lowcountry

Dating in the Lowcountry
December 29, 2007, 12:49 am
Filed under: Birds and Bees, Life

I’ve come to realize through trial and error that internet dating is not all that and a bag of chips. I’ve done the free sites, the paying members only sites and both have yielded a lot of good/bad date stories for me but not a love connection. Mostly there are weirdos out there. I thought since I was fairly sane and decent looking that I would find the same. Seems resonable, right?

What in the world does an unemployed 58 year old divorcee think he has in common with an intelligent, well-employed and attractive thirty-something female? What in the world would we talk about? So, not being one to pre-judge and as I’m always willing to give someone a chance, I emailed the gentleman/grandfather. Yes, he has grandchildren. (I just want kids, not a grandkid yet.) He immediately asked me to meet him for brunch and I said, “Can we at least talk on the phone first?” I guess he figures he hasn’t got much time left, so why waste it with that ‘getting to know you’ bit that usually happens when you first meet. I know that’s harsh and probably not true but he did rush things a bit. Another one bites the dust.

Meet Josh, he’s 38 going on 17, he plays in a band, he’s got a young kid and an ex-wife and he’s not out for wife #2 no matter what he writes in his profile. He wants to be free to play his music and the field for as long as his libido will let him. We get along great and he lets me down easy. “You want different things than I do. We’ll always be friends…”

Here comes the fix-up! “Ash, I’ve got the man for you! My friend Patrick is so funny and you two would get along so well because you both are outgoing and funny and worldly! I can’t wait for you to meet him. What are you doing for dinner a week from Wednesday?”

News flash: Patrick is gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that but I’m not a man. 🙂 I don’t want my competition to be Brad Pitt. It’s hard enough fighting for attention when there’s Angelina Jolie out there…or Heidi Klum…or any other young supermodel…I just can’t compete! So don’t hook me up with your closeted gay friend unless you just want me to out him. And in that case, just tell me that’s what he needs instead of getting my hopes up.

Having said all that, I still have hope. Dating and the search for love is not for naught. I will find love. I will.

************Update: 6/5/08 *************

So now instead of the ‘free’ internet sites, I’m trying the ones that you pay for and they promise to match you with ‘someone truly compatible to you’ where they match 20 some points of commonality…and deliver true love to your inbox. I am sure that hilarity will ensue. Stay tuned for the updates from the new blog, the EHARMONY files. Here’s a rough draft exerpt:

‘Pedro has requested communication with you. Log on to now to view Pedro’s questions and begin the path to discovering your true love.’    ~Flash forward~ The next day, Pedro has answered all the ‘close-ended questions’ and sent all the ‘open-ended questions’ and told me his ‘likes/dislikes’, his ‘must haves and can’t stands’ and has initiated ‘open communication’.  Something I said caught his fancy and something he said caught mine. A week later we’ve talked on the phone every night for a few hours and then… (stay tuned. he just called and I’ll update this tomorrow…)